Self-Discovery

The peeling husks of time

The fine line between
vulnerability and safety
has carved a deep river for me to cross

I want to hold the light,
in this vessel
breathe
and become the breath
Identify
my true identity

The Book I Wanted to Buy For My Mother

For many years I wanted to buy a book for my mother — a book that would explain everything: what I hadn’t or couldn’t explain since I had been old enough to notice my mother wasn’t all that happy and, Lord knows, I wanted my mother to be happy and if not “happy” per se, then at least aware of what it was that made me, her son, happy — the “thing” that for so many years she thought was a phase I was going through and, even worse, some kind of heartless rejection of her and her way of life.

Yes, I wanted to buy my mother a book that would explain it all — the whole “New Age thing,” the whole “Guru thing,” the whole “it’s OK that I don’t eat your veal parmigiana any more because I’m a vegetarian thing.” Somebody must have written it. Somebody must have noticed the market niche of “mothers over 60 who worry why their high performing sons have gone “spiritual”.

And so, I went looking for this book. Like some people look for God. And though I never found it, I did find some reasonable facsimiles. Cleverly titled books displayed by the check out counter, conceived by marketing geniuses who somehow knew my need — the need a son has to make his mother smile and nod her head approvingly. The book that would keep my mother company during those long nights when her husband was working late and her children were asleep and there was nothing good on TV. The ultimate self-help book that would remove her worries, her doubts, and her exponentially growing fears of thinking her son had gone off the deep end for “receiving Knowledge” from that young boy from India.

Love?

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine who had mentioned that he had recently read a book written by a well known “New Age” author who stated that being in love is the closest experience there was to being fully present. ( Being fully present is a good thing, I might add ).

Now, I know that being in love is fun. The colors of life seem brighter. There is a new excitement to the days of loving, a new feeling of delight in anticipation. But, as I heard this I wondered, why do we always think that being in love has to involve another person? Why doesn’t it occur to most of us that being in love could mean, being in love with life itself.

Or, better yet, could it be that it is simply the feeling of love that is the joy? And that the object of our affection is only the excuse to feel this exquisite feeling? Not that I am discounting companionship or even – dare we say, sex – but, I am talking about love: the deliciousness of it. The warm, fuzzy, all- over coziness of it.

If it were not necessary to have an object to be in love with, we could forever have the completely unattached, unlimited, immensely unimaginable experience of LOVE. MMMMMM can you feel it?

The floods of love leave heart’s gates open wide

with no offer of control to stem or turn its tide

Freed at last, the power of its waters knows no bounds

Fear, despair, bitterness with ease it drowns

Love’s searching currents drawn to parched human landscapes

relentlessly smoothing the stone hardness of their faces

Its deep pools giving shelter to all of life’s children

providing home to every searching pilgrim

Love knows all

sees all

seeks all

to be ALL

Filament of Our Love

As long as i know who or what,

is the filament of my bulb,

everything is really fine,

i can always turn on

my sweet inner light,

i can dance with it,

with all my joy,

peace, love,

heart.

through my breath, through my whole life,

satisfied,

i can dance

with your inner bulb,

if you too turn on your light,

but i can’t dance with your dark,

i can’t dance with my, or your past,

i can’t dance with our fears, anger or lust.

Filament of our life is lit in this moment now,

through whatever is done through it=grateful heart.

Stoyan Svet

The Dance Floor

I wanted to dance this evening, just to express in rhythm, all that is inside me.

However, there was no beat good enough that I could find outside, so I opted to listen
to my own inner music, and see if I could find that one track where so moved, I could synchronize.

I know with most musicians, writers, artists, there comes a moment where you know you have just
switched gears, and what before was a mere consideration to take a drive, turns into a comfortable cruise.

So a proverbial toast, to our highway adventures.

Listening is an art, and my best friend said, whatever art you endeavor to pursue,
you must practice.
If there are distractions, external noise, internal emotional storms,
it is pretty much impossible to be in that place, where you can hear the inspiration you require
to move not only you, but others who may wish to tune in.

So the first requirement to access the creative force is become receptive enough,
that you begin to be filled by that which is abundantly in supply.
Normally we are so preoccupied with the miniscule aspects that preponderantly surround us,
that we forget actually, to take the time to perceive the bigger design, which requests us,
to get synched with its agenda.

When we allow ourselves the freedom to explore what dwells inside us, we are pleasantly surprised that it is far more then the trivia of thought that we are accustomed to pondering on. Leaving behind our limited patterning for a pioneering exploration of our own inner territory is not only exciting, but is exactly what each of us are meant to do.

The attributes and aspects we are looking for, are so at hand, but because they are invisible,
it is not as forthright as what is ever changing before our eyes. So secondly,
this reminder to pay attention, to what is already happening.
We are ever geared to what will happen, that what is going on, we miss.

When we realize that joy is pleasantly living amongst the flowers in our own back garden,
we feel kinda foolish, for isn’t it always someone else’s garden, is far superior to our own?
A good habit to adopt is to begin strolling daily in the territory within, for I sense we will discover vistas, that we have been praying to enter, for most of our life.

I know personally so much of the time, I ignore looking to myself to find fulfillment.
We are too busy, too self critical, too preoccupied with the worlds problems, finances,
family responsibilities, who has time to … be happy?
Well time out, as it is said, time to change this plan of action, and get to the business of counting on myself as a resource for happiness, for it is me who has been created, it is you who has been individually given your own propensities and gifts; when if not now, will we explore what was so kindly packed for us?

Now, is appropriate to listen to the music, this beat of my inner drummer,
this soothing melody that is sweet to my own ears.
I need to listen for I want to know all the gifts that are there waiting for me to open.

Maybe this will help us all to find that which we seek, for isn’t it wonderful, when we see,
that it is so close.
The love we yearn for is ever here, but we have been too deaf, too blind to see what is so clearly …
right before us.

May this be music that will nurture your hearts, for I for one, require that nourishment.