The peeling husks of time

The fine line between
vulnerability and safetyEternal Moment in Spring
has carved a deep river for me to cross

I want to hold the light,
in this vessel
breathe
and become the breath
Identify
my true identity

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May I Stay Here Forever

stillness

May I stay here forever in this perfect place of peace with you —
the sacred space between in breath and out,
the final coming home,
timeless moment before the need for anything has risen,
Buddha enjoying his late afternoon nap
with no around to extract any meaning from it.

First, there is a breath,
and then, there is a second.

This is how I begin my long walk with you by the water’s edge,
cool white sand beneath both our feet.

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The Book I Wanted to Buy For My Mother

For many years I wanted to buy a book for my mother — a book that would explain everything: what I hadn’t or couldn’t explain since I had been old enough to notice my mother wasn’t all that happy and, Lord knows, I wanted my mother to be happy and if not “happy” per se, then at least aware of what it was that made me, her son, happy — the “thing” that for so many years she thought was a phase I was going through and, even worse, some kind of heartless rejection of her and her way of life.

book of heartsYes, I wanted to buy my mother a book that would explain it all — the whole “New Age thing,” the whole “Guru thing,” the whole “it’s OK that I don’t eat your veal parmigiana any more because I’m a vegetarian thing.” Somebody must have written it. Somebody must have noticed the market niche of “mothers over 60 who worry why their high performing sons have gone “spiritual”.

And so, I went looking for this book. Like some people look for God. And though I never found it, I did find some reasonable facsimiles. Cleverly titled books displayed by the check out counter, conceived by marketing geniuses who somehow knew my need — the need a son has to make his mother smile and nod her head approvingly. The book that would keep my mother company during those long nights when her husband was working late and her children were asleep and there was nothing good on TV. The ultimate self-help book that would remove her worries, her doubts, and her exponentially growing fears of thinking her son had gone off the deep end for “receiving Knowledge” from that young boy from India.

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This Thirst

nightfishing.jpgThere is an aching deep within my heart
that cannot be explained.
It wakes me in the middle of the night
and write these lines — kind of fishing in a great sea I cannot find by day.
This escapade is not the search for something new.
It is not the need to find
more, it is the being moved,
my being pulled by an unseen moon,
how small birds, when days get cold,
make their way
across dark skies to the place where they were born,
how a feather falls to earth
and a child, finding it, looks up,

why dogs pace back and forth before a door
as their master turns for home.

Ah, this restlessness, this thirst, this ache,
this silent undertow inside
that takes me back to the hidden spring
where lions come to drink,
and snakes,
why birds sing when they are all alone
and the long ride home on an empty train
often feels like an arrival.

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The Falcon and the Falconer

I am the falcon,
you are the falconer.
Always I am coming back to you,
my soaring skyward just a strategy
to gather speed for my ultimate return.
How you have trained me is a mystery —
the way you’ve tamed my restless heart.
It is not with fear. I do not fear you.
It is not with food.

Fuzzy Limbo

There is prey enough for me everywhere I fly.
It is more the way you offer me your arm,
a place to land, a second skin,
scented with the wild musk of one who waits for me,
what I would be if I would be a man.

It is a wonderful game the two of us play —
this coming and going,
this circular ballet.
Each time you loose the loops around my legs
and signal me to fly, I remember
what it is to rise for the first time.

It is here I find my rest, my home.
Untethered, still I do not move,
needing only to be close to you, my Falconer.
It is this that beats my wings, releases me to sky,
rides the unseen currents of the air
and though I notice other things:
the tops of trees, a cloud, a nimble rabbit on the ground,
all I see is you, holding out your arm to me,
even as a thousand other falcons overhead,
each within your view,
circle closer, spiral down, descend,
yet still I know that I am next
and this
is the perfect moment
of my return.

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Love?

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine who had mentioned that he had recently read a book written by a well known “New Age” author who stated that being in love is the closest experience there was to being fully present. ( Being fully present is a good thing, I might add ).

Now, I know that being in love is fun. The colors of life seem brighter. There is a new excitement to the days of loving, a new feeling of delight in anticipation. But, as I heard this I wondered, why do we always think that being in love has to involve another person? Why doesn’t it occur to most of us that being in love could mean, being in love with life itself.

Or, better yet, could it be that it is simply the feeling of love that is the joy? And that the object of our affection is only the excuse to feel this exquisite feeling? Not that I am discounting companionship or even – dare we say, sex – but, I am talking about love: the deliciousness of it. The warm, fuzzy, all- over coziness of it.

If it were not necessary to have an object to be in love with, we could forever have the completely unattached, unlimited, immensely unimaginable experience of LOVE. MMMMMM can you feel it?

The floods of love leave heart’s gates open wide

with no offer of control to stem or turn its tide

Freed at last, the power of its waters knows no bounds

Fear, despair, bitterness with ease it drowns

Love’s searching currents drawn to parched human landscapes

relentlessly smoothing the stone hardness of their faces

Its deep pools giving shelter to all of life’s children

providing home to every searching pilgrim

Love knows all

sees all

seeks all

to be ALL

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